Why do I hold onto the idea that doing “more productive” things that I rarely do will make me happy?
Every day I wake up thinking of what I have to do, or what I should do, more precisely, and after compiling this list I go about living with it constantly hovering over my head. Finding a balance is hard. Oftentimes, holding this list in my dash doesn’t help me get things done any more efficiently, and honestly, I usually find that this list makes me want to do less. Like right now, I’m supposed to be writing fiction (says my list), but instead I’m rebelling against myself. We’re all little weirdos like this to some degree… aren’t we?
I believe every person must approach obstacles differently in order to find balance in their lives. We’re all obviously not the same, and from an evolutionary standpoint that makes complete sense. If we were all built the same, we’d be wiped out incredibly easily. But this key difference from person-to-person makes it hard for us all to figure it out. Some of us need a religion, and some of us need to play Mario Party on Sunday instead.
Furthermore, our needs change as we go about our lives. There are an infinite amount of ways to throw us off, so in figuring out how to live life, we stumble most of the way. Unless you can turn your mind into some clinical ai terminator robot, nothing will ever work the same way forever, and no amount of guidance will help you more than testing things yourself.
That’s why I’m saying fuck it to the list.
Some of you may not like the word fuck, but it’s what I need to say right now.
This list, this to-do thing I’ve got going on, it’s annoying me. I shouldn’t be surprised. My family has a bit of a rebellious streak. Maybe this is my genes manifesting or something.
Anyway, this is why at the end of my posts I like to say:
Live your way,
Noah 🙂