I wrote a list of the things I need to work on to create a better life for myself, just to get a clear head of things.
It has to do with my morning routine, productivity, environment, social outreach, diet, and ways to unwind, but when I looked at those items, the big question came to me: the “why?” question. The hard one.
Why am I working on these instead of school, instead of actual projects?
The answer is in caring and in how I view the problem of creative lust.
All the things on my list create an environment but more importantly a person who is built for taking care of his life better than I am. It kind of feels like stalling, kind of feels like lying, but I know myself, and I know that the arbitrary things on my list need to evolve, since creativity isn’t my problem, since working on projects isn’t my main problem anymore, since these elements are less solved. It’s the details that compose monuments.
I knew it was time to press a little harder when I found comfort in everything. When I get comfortable, I let things slide. Maybe then I should be worried about school (which is always on the horizon). Maybe I shouldn’t worry at all.
Maybe all I should do is care, and let everything else fall away—care and let those I don’t care for drift off my little island of scattered importance.